The dictionary definition of mentoring ‘is when someone shares their knowledge, wisdom, skills, and experience with another person to help them to progress.’
This definition however, doesn’t bring to life the reality of the mentoring I do as a femtor. So here is my definition.
Mentoring is the co-creating a safe and compassion-filled space for exploration, innovation, inspiration. A space which encourages understanding, growth, courage and change. In order to unconditionally flourish and achieve holistic well-being.
Likewise with the dictionary definition of flourishing which is ‘to grow and develop in a healthy and vigorous way especially as the result of a particularly congenial environment’.
…I feel the need to expand on this as well. So here is my additional definition.
Flourishing begins with the development of deep roots which can sustain personal and professional growth in all ‘weathers. Roots which enable us to be connected to ourselves, connected to each other and connected to the whole of nature
Flourishing in Life: Insights from Gardening
The concept flourishing is most often connected with gardens, so we will start our exploration of mentoring to flourish in a garden. Gardens can be many things :
- places of beauty and tranquillity
- wild or whimsy filled
- scented or scenic
- edible and/or ornamental
- sacred or secular
- or none of the above
If you have a garden, perhaps it is a space for you to be in nature, to get your hands into the soil and grow what you love? Or perhaps screen you from the street? Or provide additional privacy from neighbours?
The Connection Between Flourishing and the Gardener: Insights for Growth
Whatever the nature of your garden, the purpose of a gardener is to ensure the garden flourishes. Whatever the garden type. The fact that the gardener usually enjoys and is totally committed to the garden flourishing, is in and of itself a contributing factor to the flourishing.
A garden however, without a gardener, will be taken over by weeds and self-sown plants. These block the light and draw nutrients to themselves. The result is depletion, not flourishing, for the garden as a whole.
How Gardeners Foster Flourishing in Nature and in Life
Gardeners co-create a flourishing for the whole ecosystem through:
- careful observation of the site
- judicious application of knowledge and skill
- preparation of the soil for planting
- assessment and implementation of drainage requirements
- provision of protection from weather extremes
- and the ravages of pests
- putting measures in place to mitigate flood and drought
- watering: when, where, how, how often, how much
- provision of support and protection for new weak or vulnerable plants
Gardens Flourish When Nurtured with Care and Expertise
The garden flourishes not only when conditions are ‘congenial’, as per the dictionary definition of flourishing. Gardens also flourish when the gardener has prepared and protected plants so they can withstand less than congenial conditions. This is really important to understand both in gardens and in life.
The gardener knows that a strong root system and specific micronutrients are vitally important for the garden to grow with resilience and bloom with radiance. One lesser-known source of micronutrients and protection is from other plants, through sharing via root systems and companion planting.
Flourish Together: The Benefits of Companion Planting and Gardens and In Life.
Flourishing never happens in isolation and always incudes support from a variety of places, people and practices. This is so in life and in gardens.
Certain plants flourish when planted in proximity to other plants: carrots love tomatoes; roses love parsley; tomatoes love basil and on it goes. The plants themselves know who they love to grow next to. They are the plants with whom they have a mutually beneficial relationship. This is known as companion planting. Companion planting ‘aids and abets’ flourishing.
All About Flourishing: How to Achieve Personal Growth and Satisfaction in Life
Generally speaking, WE, like plants, flourish when we have the essential ingredients which for us include:
✓ daily movement
✓ optimal nutrition
✓ time in nature
✓ plenty of fresh air
✓ connection to inner self, soul, consciousness or higher power, depending on your belief system
We flourish with well-being when we are in a ‘companion planting’ situation and live:
✓ interconnectedly and interpedently in caring community with a sense of belonging
✓ with strong intergenerational relationships
✓ with support from family, friends, colleagues, community and at specific times, from a mentor.
Finally, we flourish with strong roots when we have:
✓ have a holistic approach to quality of life
✓ purpose
✓ know our value
✓ stimulation and engagement, in meaningful activities
Mentoring to Flourish @ The Pomegranate Circle
Humans, just like plants, require support of a gardener in order to flourish.
The mentoring process provides you with protective factors of support and experience, wisdom and skill, so that you can flourish in whatever circumstance you face (the equivalent of the conditions and extreme weather events effecting your garden). These could be something like:
- recovering from the desiccation of disappointment
- recuperating after dehydration after the isolation and ‘going it alone’
- re-hydrating after the scorch of burnout
Reality Check: How to Truly Flourish Amidst Challenges, Change and Adversity
There will always be ups and downs in gardens and in life. The reality is that flourishing includes all of the ups and down. Flourishing embraces all cycles/seasons, phases stages and events of life.
For strong personal and professional growth, we need to abandon the false notion of perfectionism. Leave the myth of 100% behind us. In its place we need to embrace the life-giving reality of compassion. Embrace the wisdom of enough and the practise of thankfulness.
The more we can do this the more likely we will truly flourish.
How a Femtor Helps You to Flourish: Mentoring for Robust Growth
This is where the role of a femtor comes into the picture. As a femtor I co-create and hold space for you to explore, plan and dream about your life and where you want it to go. A space which is compassion filled, without shame or blame. A space for you to be you.I hold the space for you so you can debrief and evaluate throughout the adventure of the mentoring experience. A nourishing and flourishing space.
Flourishing Through Change: The End as a New Beginning
Whatever state of flourishing you are in at the moment I invite you to ‘Meet the Femtor’. Click on the link and make a time to have a chat about what Mentoring to Flourish could look like for you.
I want you to flourish. Schedule a Chat.
More About Flourishing
Listen to my guest spots talking about flourishing on these podcasts:
Flourishing Education with Fabienne Vailes – Episode 22- An Emergent Conversation about Flourishing
Into Your Life with Lenka and Natalie – Episode 98-Flourishing in Every Season: Regenerating Soil, Soul, and Society
Read my earlier Blogs on Biophilia which give tips and hints for flourishing: Part 1 | Part 2
